It’s happened to me since I was in high school. At least
that’s when I first began to really notice it: the rolling eyes, shaking heads
and sometimes, the blatant arm reaching out to turn up the volume, drowning out
my words. I care about what’s happening in our community, state, nation and
world. I always have and I naively thought that as I grew up, gained in numbers
and maturity, advanced into adulthood, that others would too.
How wrong I was. Even when I worked in D.C. in the Clinton
Administration, the after-hours conversation was almost always focused on
gossip, who was sleeping with whom, how it was benefitting their career and how
else we could find our way to the top of the heap. It was pure power and the
yearning for it that drove that crowd. I was disgusted and disillusioned. My quest continued.
“There must be a group of people, an organization, an
institution that cares about the world”, I hoped, “about what’s happening to
people, the poor, the disenfranchised, the gender inequities.” I turned to my
church (the Evangelical Lutheran Church
in America)
and spent 4 years in graduate school earning a Masters of Divinity (ya, I know…
4 years for a Masters! Don’t get me started) and became an ordained pastor.
I reasoned it this way. Having grown up in the church, I had
taken a particular interest in Jesus and his focus on justice, equal
distribution of wealth and his actions to even things out. I had come to know a
radical Jesus, and so, I thought, the church could be the avenue through which
consciousness, awareness and action can take place.
Wrong again. Really wrong. Members of the congregations
where I was pastor did not want to engage their faith, their music, their pews,
church or parking lot with the realities of the world. They did not want to
hear Jesus, God, Bible or spirituality connected to what was going on in the
newspaper, on the radio or TV in anyway. There were a few exceptions, but
overall, the message was strong and clear. “Preach what people want to hear”
and “Make me feel good about myself and my life”. Period. End of discussion.
It is work to live conscious. It is critical to live
conscious for the benefit of our world, our nation, our communities and for our
sons and daughters. Living in a bubble of our own making does not give us the
information, challenge or wonder we need to progress, move forward and improve
our society and world.
I stand in the same place I did so long ago in high school.
Eyes continue to roll when I speak about what I most care about: women valuing
themselves from inside their own good core. Women don’t want to be Conscious
about the realities facing women today as much as men want to pretend its all
better and everything is fine. I disagree with both approaches. It is more
urgent than ever for women to choose to live Conscious.
In an earlier blog I wrote about how we are obsessed with
being busy. “Busy-busy-busy” we buzz as we move through the motions of our day.
We hum it to confirm that we are living right, good and correct. The busier we
are the better we must be doing. What is the saying we love to quote? “Idle
hands are the devils tools?” So we buzz from one task to another while patting
ourselves on the back.
To pretend that the chores, errands and responsibilities of
our daily lives excuse us from interacting with the issues that face our
society, particularly those concerning the equity of and opportunities for,
women, means to live ostrich-esque; burying our mind deep in the proverbial
sand.
We need to wake up. Consciousness is a Choice. It is
discipline. It is the willingess to face truths that are ugly, uncomfortable or
hard to hear. Like the fact that “According to Pentagon
research, a quarter of all women who join the military are sexually assaulted
during their careers.” Like the fact that rape remains the number one
under-reported crime in America.
Like the reality that women still make less than men do for the same work. Like
the truth that the majority of our religions are male-centered with a male
deity watching over, giving blessings and discerning prayers.
Like, like, like…. Obviously there is much more that could
be said. The number of women and girls who struggle with an eating disorder,
the studies that continue to find young women are still not raising their hands
to ask questions in any sort of equal ratio to boys, and so it goes.
It’s not necessarily fun to be Conscious. When we choose Consciousness,
it complicates our lives. It makes it messy. We can feel overwhelmed and
impotent.
Wrong. We can make a difference. Simply by choosing to be Conscious,
you are making a change in the environment of apathetic complicity. Simply by
opening your mind to hear the realities that face women today, you are taking
up space in the matter and requiring the truth to be told.
I think the need
for Conscious Action is more urgent now than ever before. I believe
that for all the progress made on other justice and equality issues, the rights
for women and progress toward gender equality has turned backward and lessened
over the last two decades. I want to
change this. I want to be honest about the truth that we live in a
system that does not equate the presence, power, worth and value of women with
that of men.
I believe in a new
vision; a new way for women to discover and rediscover, reawaken and
shake-open their inner good-core, sexy-power and authentic beauty.
I see a movement
of feminine energy that is dynamic; that arouses a sense of wonder, intellect
and connection beyond our selves.
I see a new way
to gather, to connect, network with each other and the world.
I hear
words of ritual, appeals for hopes, desires, safety and calm that are feminine
centered, gender neutral, said in poetry, music or as daily mantras.
I want to rewrite,
reshape and reform the world of spirituality for women, to women and
with women.
A Conscious, Feminine Centered Way of Living in Spirit, Mind
and Body.
