Grasping Good

We need to spend more time seeing the good.

Sounds simplistic, right? But it’s not. Try it and you’ll see how dependent we have become as a society on blaming, seeing and pointing at the bad. We are verging on a cultural addiction to the bad; we use it to excuse our own actions, explain the actions of others and when we need a scapegoat for tough social issues, we offer it up.

A few weeks ago I was with extended family. The conversation migrated to the content of my upcoming TEDX San Joaquin talk.  I began to explain the gyst of my talk: that the Doctrine of Original Sin is wrong and needs to be replaced with the Affirmation of Natural Goodness.

One of my siblings in-law who is not now nor ever has been, part of organized religion, interrupted me to ask “Well, how can it be true that we aren’t born naturally bad? How do you explain all the bad stuff that happens?”

It’s funny how the non-religious can sometimes become defenders of the faith. It happens because Christianity has had such a profound impact in laying the foundation of our Western culture. The idea that we are all born with the desire and penchant to do and be “bad” (The Doctrine of Original Sin) is one that has had the greatest impact.

Sure. Absolutely. Without Question. There is evidence of bad actions, choices that harm, hate, prejudice, violence, deceit, betrayal and more. And agreed. It’s not going to go away.

But if the evidence being presented to prove that we are all born naturally bad is that those attributes exist, then the argument fails. Yes, there are these realities in our world and personal lives, but it does not prove that sin, bad or the dark side is our first inclination.

There is no more evidence of bad attributes and actions than there are of the good. In fact, the truth is there are far more incidents of good that we experience every day than of bad. Our problem is that we don’t see them. We don't pay attention to the good stuff.

We have been trained to see the bad first and walk right past the good.

It’s time for a reorientation that will restore our collective spirit and hope in our common goodness.

We need to retrain our minds to see, notice, and mark all the good that happens around us every day.

Yesterday I was given unsolicited hugs from my kids (good), was told that my advice was valuable and helpful (good), attended a webinar by two women who have “made it” in my industry and who are giving away what they have learned to help others (good). After a long day of teaching fifth grade my husband sat at the computer and helped me revise items for my upcoming TEDx Talk (good). My mother called to check on my kids (good) and my sister called just to tell me she loved me (good). My hair stylist who just had a baby texted me to ask how things were going (good) and men who were standing in a group on a path where I was running politely made way for me and smiled, saying “lookin’ good!”(good).

All of it is good and all of it is unremarkable. But it’s good and it’s real and it’s important.

The bad that happens to us hurts. It pierces our spirit and has the potential of infecting our minds so that it permanently damages our vision and the way we see each other and the world. It’s true that betrayal, violence, lies, can leave lasting marks on our persons.

Yet that does not prove that it is what defines us. Nor does it mean we have to allow the bad to dominate the good. We can change the way we think and see the world. It is our choice.

Practice makes perfect.

When we prepare to run a half-marathon, we train. If we intend to play piano in a jazz band, we rehearse. To excel at a skill or area of specialty we study, read and focus our efforts on that particularity.

Nothing more is demanded of us to change the way we see the world and each other. We need to practice, rehearse and train ourselves to focus, study and spot all the good in and around us.

Notice it. Point to it. Let other people know when you find it. Tweet it. Post it. Photograph it. We need to share the good so that we daily recognize its overwhelming presence in our lives.

Let’s get to it. 7 Days of Grasping Good will help.

Monday: Concentrate on the goodness in beginnings, commencements and starts.

Tuesday: Spot good actions in people you don’t know but stand next to at Starbuck’s, walk past in the grocery store or pass on the freeway.

Wednesday: Look for the language of good: thank you, have a nice day, after you, you look nice, and…

Thursday: Claim the hope of good in the midst of hurt, pain, sadness, violence, hate and in seeing good even as we recognize the bad.

Friday: The Friday Habit: focus on the good in you and that you see around you and tweet, talk, post or otherwise announce it.

Saturday: Let loose with the good of extra sleep, long runs, movies in the afternoon, friends, kids play and languid love.

Sunday: Rehearse and affirm: I am naturally good and have within me the power to make choices that creates good for me and others.

Grasp the Good, hold it close, ingest it and watch your world shift!