Kickin' the Fear Habit

I have been contemplating fear these last few days. Fear of taking that leap, jumping into the risk of believing so fully and totally in my ability, gifts and wisdom that I finally do something with my wild and precious life.

I have finally let go of the comfortable excuses, the regrets of past opportunities and the fear of not having enough, and I am going for it.

Scary, inspiring stuff. I am dizzy with the potential of doing what I know I was made to do.

So why the fear? Habits can be hard to break, and returning to the fear mongering I spent a lifetime learning is among those tough nuts. 

Tough, yes, but not impossible.  I am doing it and so can you. Whatever message, expectation or limitation that is stopping your movement forward, your full self to emerge, the following steps will help crack it open.

First, look the fear or expectation straight in the face and name it out loud. As distasteful as this is, it’s an important first step.

Here goes.

I am afraid that the success of others around me somehow puts my ability to realize my own success at risk. Wow, I have never written that so succinctly and honestly. I don’t think I’ve ever stated it so boldly. It’s ugly. Is that really me?

Yup. Truth. There you have it. Instead of rejoicing with others at their amazing lives and accomplishments, I have practiced being intimidated by them.

For some crazy and irrational idea, when someone else wildly succeeds, which is what I want for myself, I am afraid that it snips off another piece of the blanket of my potential.

Fear can cripple if we continue to practice it without being aware that it is there. Looking at it, stating it and naming it immediately pierces a hole in the bubble of fear and begins to leak.  It has less power over us.

Second, practice, repeat, rehearse and retrain your thinking with this one sentence: I am naturally good and have in me the power to choose to use it to make more good for myself and others.

Repeating this sentence every day, multiple times a day, has had tremendous impact on my life and how I see the world and myself. It literally buckles my proverbial knee-jerk reaction of jealousy in its tracks! When I have experienced the ping of “See what that person is doing… what makes you think you can do it?” Or the pang of “They’ve already done it, you may as well just give up,” I remind myself of how good I am and how much power I already have inside me to be a creator of more good, more beauty, more life giving advice and it corrects my vision.

It’s not magic, but it’s close.

Third, I have taken stock of the importance of surrounding myself with people who want to celebrate my success! Too often those in our lives are connected to the status quo of who we are now, and the idea of the “Big AmyJo” or the “Great AmyJo” seems threatening. Instead of encouraging me to go for it, words of fear are expressed, often in a context of protection. “Do you have enough money to do that?” “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up and feel bad if it’s not a huge success,” and on and on.

No more. Choose to be around people who want you to succeed! The language of affirmation and genuine encouragement are critical to building our own capacity to go for it!

Fourth, I am my own policewoman and have recruited a few other trusted “cops” to keep me in line. When I feel the urge to compare myself and come out on the losing end, I say out loud “I am enough, I am brilliant and my time is now.” Really. I say it out loud. No matter where I am. If I am riding my bike (because my husband and I share one car while I build my business), walking into class to teach (and I gaze at the pictures of successful people lining the walls), or listening to the radio in my kitchen (and hear a story of an amazing person doing an incredible thing), I say it out loud. “I am enough, I am brilliant and my time is now.”

Finally, I practice genuinely celebrating the amazing, great, incredible feats people are accomplishing all over this world. Thank the good-ness of humanity for all of these successes, struggles, learning moments and movements!

Our world improves the more we all go for it! When you and I honor those who are doing it, we send good karma, emotions and energy into the world and by doing so, we make it better!

Follow the Formula:

1)     Look the fear straight in its face and name it out loud.

2)     Repeat: I am naturally good and have in me the power to choose to use it to make more good for myself and others.

3)     Choose to be around others who want you to succeed! The language of affirmation and genuine encouragement are critical to building our own capacity to go for it! Accept it and give it away to others.

4)     Be your own policeperson and say out loud, whenever the creepy-crawlies of jealousy or insecurity linger: “I am enough, I am brilliant and my time is now.”

5)     Rejoice in the success of others and know that doing it improves the energy in our world.

We each have a story and gifts to give the world. We cannot know each detail, but we can affirm that we have all it takes to do it!

The time is now! Go For It!