The Goal of Getting Good; Comparisons Suck

When was the last time it happened to you? I am gonna go out a limb and guess it was some time this week. At least once. Maybe twice. Perhaps even more than that. I know because it happens to me too. It used to happen more than it does, and still, in all the amazing progress and freedom I have achieved, I run into it. Bam! It hits me square in the face, or more typically for me, in the abs, legs, or bank account.

The more vulnerable I am, the more easily it occurs. Vulnerable in the sense that I am not rooted in the complete truth of my own amazing good core. Vulnerable because I am open to the suggestions that on  my own, as I stand now, I am not enough; not good enough, fit enough, pretty, smart or successful enough.

We are trained to engage in the game. I call it “The Wheel Of MisFortune.” The more we allow ourselves (because we do) to run on that wheel, the faster it spins and the harder it is to get off. The cycle of comparison continues to go round and round, conjuring up a variety of people, aspirations, targets and goals for us to measure ourselves against. The harder we run on the Wheel, the greater the rate of MisFortune, where you and I look at the lives, looks and goodness of another against which we will never win. Ultimately we are exhausted people, pretending to be all that we think we should be, while believing we are none of it.

The reason we do it is simple. Since we were young we have been told a story about what it means to be a good person, an upstanding American, a desirable woman and solid man. Our stories differ slightly depending on religion, culture and traditions, but much of what we have been told is the same. I call these stories our “Shape-Scripters;” powerful narratives that literally shape us. They tell us how we ought to look, behave and think about who we are, and who other people are, and if they are good.

The main theme connecting all of our Shape-Scripter stories is that you and I have to do something other than simply be who we are, to be considered good, desirable, acceptable and whole. On our own, in the skin we were born in and the bodies in which we exist, with the mind we conduct and the spirit we continue to nurture – we are not enough. We need something else from beyond our basic selves to prove our worth and value to the world. We need to be thinner, wealthier and more popular. The cars we drive, the clothes we wear, the restaurants we frequent and the sports we and our children play all contribute to what is assessed and judged on “The Wheel of MisFortune”.

Yuck! Enough already! Time to slow down the Wheel of MisFortune, get off and discover a new way!

You can decide to get off. Here's how to begin. The minute – the moment – the exact second you decide that You Are Good, the wheel will slow and you can turn your attention from others to your Good Core. The more you practice and rehearse owning your Good Core, the less the Wheel turns until you get to a point where it slows enough to get off completely.

I know this is true. I know it works. I have done it myself, coached hundreds to do the same and observe daily how it transforms the lives of my own family and children. It takes practice and commitment to rewrite your Shape Scripter and let go of the memorized idea that on your own you are not good. And it can be done. Are you ready?

Today – for this moment and time – start here. Before you get out of bed and before you go to sleep, say this: I am good and have the power to make more good for myself and others.

That's it. If it's too long, keep it to three words: I am good. I am good. I am good.

It is not sacrilege nor is it hypocritical. (Interested in what Jesus thinks of your Good Core? Find more here). It is perhaps the most authentic truth that can “reveal-utionize” your life!

Take the Journey to Your Good Core!