Following Myself

We can follow all kinds of people on Twitter, but at this point in my life, I am interested in following myself.

I came late to the controversy that hovered around Ashley Judd’s puffy face in March. At the time I was embroiled in my own battle with vindictive women who would rather break down another younger, intelligent and vibrant woman than admit they were wrong.

Since leaving that position and place, I have rediscovered my voice, strength and passion and am finally following myself. This is not an easy or comfortable road to take. Our cultural norms direct women to follow a man, fashion trends, gossip and just about anything or anyone that will keep us thin and attractive.

In her article “Ashley Judd Slaps Media in the Face for Speculation Over Her ‘Puffy’ Appearance”  Ms. Judd boldly engages the media and everyone else who continues the tradition of claiming ownership over the bodies, minds and existence of women. Go Ashley! As a pastor, I was measured and assessed regularly. There was no part of my body that was off limits. Every Sunday there was at least one comment about what I was wearing, how my hair looked or if I had gained or lost weight. Most people were concerned with whether or not I was appropriately dressed for a religious leader, which basically meant I needed to not look like a woman. No obvious curves or signs of sexuality. It was only months after beginning at my first congregation in Queens, NY that I gave up my red lipstick (which I loved to wear – MAC Russian Red!). Judd bravely names patriarchy as the source of such promulgated misogyny. She’s right. She also states that patriarchy is not limited to men, but is kept alive by both genders. Right again. Following myself instead of the direction and intimidation of patriarchy in our society is hard to do. It is a big risk to take. The bulls eye target becomes etched on our person just as Hawthorne’s “A” was fixed on Hester in “The Scarlet Letter”. When we dare to own ourselves, refuse the lower rank beneath men and do not agree to compete with other women for men’s approval of our beauty, mind or actions, we are a threat. Funny how the letter “A” was scarlet; the very same color of my Russian Red that agitated so many good Christian folks.   We need to “Reclaim the Red” and all that it means for the power of women!