I realized that an old story I have wanted to change out of my life - one I had long known needed to go but that held on with doggish zeal - (I'm talking slobber, growl and the whole enchilada drooling down and around my life) - was something I CREATED!
Yup. Turns out its my spiritual teeth that have refused to release and my growl that warned me “Don't take me off or give me up because you need me...come on now, what would you do without me?”
Urgh. Enough growling and drooling. Time to HOWL!
Here's the deal. Growing up, I had a messed up relationship with the green-back. My dad was an educated professional who worked constantly. As a pastor he was part of the “Service Professionals” that, after living and working as a pastor myself and oh ya, being married to one, I have officially renamed “The Servant-Professionals.”
But I digress. The long and short of it meant that I grew up with a shortage of dinero around the house and money, or lack thereof, was the source of arguments, anxiety and shame. Wrap all of that up in a divinely ordained package of “We are rich in Christ and that's why you wear hand-me-downs” and I had some pretty nasty money demons living in my closet.
From a variety of people, places and practices I learned the story that:
a) I was not intended to have money
b) Jesus wanted me to serve the poor
c) Wealth took me away from God
d) My duty was to live with less and...on and on.
In my closet of narratives, I would say this story was my “Money Ensemble”; a variety of separate pieces that all together created one big, hairy deal of a smack-down story that told me “I needed to not have money.”
And I learned the story well. Memorized it. Acted it out and MADE IT REAL.
Did you get that Gorgeous Goddess? I...me...thee...this one here...made it my reality.
I somehow believed, where those kind of way-deep-down-gotta-go-digging-for-them beliefs reside, that I needed to not have money.
True, the story was given to me from a variety of sources, and, as a kid it was not my responsibility or ability to stop it. But let's be honest – I am not a kid anymore (well, at least not in mind!) and the past is well, the past. The freedom question is: What do I want now and for my future?
Yes Please! New stories will do nicely!
What an AWESOME discovery! Freedom is at my door knocking – nea - HOWLING for me to OPEN it! And open it I will. Creak, pull and fling wide the door to my Narrative Closet, that subconscious space where I keep these sorts of ideas and beliefs - and - where I can CLEAN UP!
And there-in lies the KEY!
When we SEE the story...
Recognize it in OUR narrative closet...
Swish-Boom-Bam! YOU have the POWER.
And THAT is what HIT me over the head this week. I saw a new story in my narrative closet that I hadn't looked at before. Oh, I am no stranger to the wardrobe of money stories I hold. Over the last 5 years I have done a kick-ass job of clearing many of them out and redesigning others so they fit my gorgeous curves.
Yet this week I discovered an accessory to the overall ensemble that has been so subtle, so sly, I hadn't been able to suss it out from the whole. Here it is again: I need to not have money.
Doin' the naked shimmy-shrug! Time to release!
My new mantra: I release my need to not have money.
Put another way: I am grabbing hold of this old, damaging, too-small-for-me story and getting it out of my closet!
Knowing what it looks and feels like (yuck) is the key to getting and keeping it off! When that happens and I feel the old story creeping onto my shoulders it's time to DO THE SHIMMY-SHRUG!
Yup, Wild, Succulent Women it IS true! Moving your body, dancing to the earthy beat of your naked nature is what will Get the Old Stories OFF!
Lovely, Wild Woman - What story do you need to release this week? Which one hides from view while tenaciously biting into your spirit and soul?
Clear out that Clutter!
And do it with a gorgeous gathering of Goddesses! Join me and seven simply sumptuous women each week beginning Thursday, March 20th - Noon-1pm PST.
"The Narrative Closet" is a FREE Teleseminar where Tori Hartman, Amy Ahlers, Shiloh Sophia McLoud, Sam Bennett, Christine Kloser, Christine Arylo OH MY!!! AND Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy will open the doors of their personal Narrative Closet to share how they've cleared it out and which stories they struggle to keep off!
These are hot, spicy women! Don't miss it! Pass it on - grab-a-Goddess and listen!
Together we will all DO THE SHIMMY-SHRUG!